That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
