Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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