I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
