yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
