i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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