love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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