your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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