i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
