He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
