wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
