if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
