I want to make a zoo with you.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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