Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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