Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Randomize
