if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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