Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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