there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
