What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
