I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You pole danced in your parka.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
