Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
