dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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