It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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