1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
That's intense
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
