I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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