Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
