There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
