i just wanna soil my oats bro
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
