WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think your dad took our porno
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
