you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
