It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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