Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
