I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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