like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
