If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
