He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He better not be in your backpack
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
