Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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