I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
