sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
