Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
