Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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