Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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