JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Of course I have a pirate flag
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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