from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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