so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
