Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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