so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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