just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
