i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
