I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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