Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
