# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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