Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
