I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
