We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
