dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
