in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
